Monday, January 28, 2013

Trash Night

After dinner we let the boys sit in front of the TV while we gathered the trash and recycling. We were continuing a conversation from earlier. Me, "You know what? I wouldn't mind going to rehab." Z, "Huh. No kids for 2 weeks or so." Me, "All the sleep you want. And lots of therapy." Z, "And art projects! And probably TV and internet!" Me, "Actually, rehab sounds awesome!"

I know, I know, rehab is serious business. Addiction is nothing to laugh at-hell I swore I wasn't addicted to smoking for years until I tried to quite. I was quitting for about four more years. Addiction sucks ass. But as I've mentioned we are exhausted. To the point where rehab sounds pretty swell. I mean, I hear they make all your meals in there as well.

While we were working away I realized I couldn't find my phone. Thought I left it out in the car. Z offered to call it from his before I put on my boots and stomped out to the driveway. I heard it ringing somewhere in the kitchen. I stepped towards the sound and Z grabbed me in a bear hug from behind and wouldn't let me go. I laughed and thrashed around and yelled and he only released me when it stopped ringing.

I looked for it, couldn't find it, and asked him to call it again. He did and then lunged for me and dragged me out of the kitchen and fell onto the sofa with me on top of him. I was laughing so hard I was crying as I yelled at him to cut it out.

He agreed to stop. Called again, and goddammit he did it again. Grabbed me and wouldn't let go until the ringing stopped. I was weak from the giggles. Had the sense not to ask him again and finally found it on my own. The asshole had spotted it and knew where it was the whole time.

Would you believe it was the most fun I had all day? I couldn't believe he could manhandle me like that. I outweigh him by at least 10lbs. Nothing makes you feel like a beautiful and delicate flower like outweighing your spouse. For every single fucking day of the almost 15 years you've been together. Including day one when you were barely 120lbs. Yup, he was about 115 back then. It's my own fault for loving the skinny boys...

My baby is now a boy. 

These boys got a nap yesterday. 


  1. Oh, how you slay me! I laughed just reading this...what a great guy you've got there. And I'm so glad. You are, clearly, made for each other. :)

    "Nothing makes you feel like a beautiful and delicate flower like outweighing your spouse."

    HA! Screaming funny!

    And I know the feeling...



    1. Thanks, Cathy! It's nice to know the making people laugh thing is working!

  2. Anonymous29/1/13 09:30

    This really made me smile this morning! Those kinds of out of control laughs are the best. Hope you all get some rest soon:)

    1. Thank you for letting me know it made you smile! Makes me feel really good.