Thursday, October 7, 2010

Scary Helicopter Mom

On average kids learn to walk at 13 months.  In a few days T will be 14th months and he has just started to take a few steps on his own this week.  This is the first developmental milestone that he hasn’t reached on time or early and I am deeply ashamed of how much it bothers me.  Soon enough he will be in school and faced with competitiveness that will build and build basically forever.  I do not want to add to that, particularly this early.  But I can’t deny that I want him to be the best, the fastest, the smartest. 

Over time I hope my wants for him become what my parents wants were for me.  They wanted me to be happy, do something I love, and be able to support myself.  My father, who is a successful businessman, would have loved if I had followed in his footsteps.  When I showed an interest in theater as a high schooler he completely didn’t understand it, but he also completely supported it.  My happiness, not his was what he focused on.  As a kid I had no idea what a gift he was giving me.  He and my mother managed to let me develop into my own person who is so different from them.  When I was 13 months old if my parents had any idea I’d become a registered democrat, tattooed, loudmouth I think they would have been crushed.  But they certainly don’t act crushed now, they continue to support me in any way they can.  Well ok, my father has voiced his deepest desire for T to become a hybrid football player/Alex P. Keaton.  He says it’s only fair I get to deal with the opposite of me. 

My suspicion is we all want our kids to be the best and the brightest.  So I ask you, smart parents who are reading, how do you stop yourselves from putting pressure on your kids? 

 And here he is doing his thing.  Notice the tie shirt he is wearing with his overalls.  Z has rocked the tie with overall look in his day, so I thought it was appropriate.  


  1. I suggest stop reading any pamphlets from the pediatrician's office. Most of that stuff has no meaning, especially if your yardstick is a month or two between appointments. If we weren't so obsessive with our measurements, our kids could grow along in fits and spurts and we wouldn't have to pay it any mind. Love them unconditionally and they will choose which gifts they develop. i try to marvel at those. Astrid didn't ever really crawl, didn't walk until 18 months, and is perplexed at the workings of a scooter, but homegirl has decided she loves letters, can spell certain words , and rocks the 60 piece puzzles. She's probably off some norm with her jumping and running but, hey, as their bag of tricks grows, I find I've stopped worrying about the other things...

    Here's to all of our above-average children!!!!

  2. Thanks Ingrid. Very sound advice.